"Take a breath.."

I really hate seeing my loved one go.. I really really really really hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it.

 

 

"We're the crowd.."

Tonight shall be the night. THE night. Another angry post? You decide..

 

I'm not a backup plan. I am NOT  a backup plan. I am NEVER a backup plan. I shall never be a backup plan. What's a backup plan? Backup plan is a contingency plan when things just .. don't happen the way you want it to.

 

My initial plan was to buy the festive clothes. I told myself yesterday,"Tmr night shall be THE night that I'll get those festive clothes. By hook or by crook, my hands shall reach them.." Well, I said something like that.. But unfortunate things have to happen tonight.

 

Like backup plans. When some things cannot happen, they contact me. For what? For me to be there.. "to fill those seats". To fill those "paid for" seats cos other people could not make it or things.. just didn't happen (due to bad planning I guess). And when I reject, it seemed as though I offended people.. But I'm true to them, to myself, to everybody.

 

Where did I go wrong? How did I go wrong? When did I go wrong? Why did I go wrong? What did I do which got everything so wrong?

 

The reasons to why I reject.. did I explain them carefully? Yes I did explain them all.. Flatly, concisely. Oh, maybe "flatly" is not the right way to explain those reasons. But I did explain them "concisely". But those reasons were seen as lies.. If you take it as lies, then how should I convince you?

 

I don't know whether you understand the above.. Maybe I'm too sensitive.. Maybe I'm too domineering.. Maybe I'm this.. Maybe I'm that..

 

Maybe.. I'm your backup plan. But not tonight.. Not tomorrow. Not the day after. Not next month. Not next year. Not next minute.  Not next second.. No no no. I'm NEVER your backup plan.

 

You need someone? Go find the recruitment agencies please.